When one is in love one lives for the moment to come, then that moment
passes and it is as if it had never been. It all starts over again and
with the same ardour we anticipate the new moment when we are about to see
the woman we love. And that moment is everything. The other one meant
nothing and could not give us any warning that this one would mean
anything more. Love exists only out of desire and it barely touches the
present so as to rebound further into the future. And yet a love which is
unable to find happiness
satisfaction in the present will not be able to find it elsewhere. It
needs the present. During the maddest burst of desire, if the future makes
it tremble with joy, it is because it imagines it will be in the present.
It can piously watch over the past like the cinders of happiness, it can
caress the future as the unseizable shadow of happiness to come. It
is only in the present that it can be captured. Also love which is
always hunted for in advance is always exiled from the present, lives in
the future or dreams in the past
At the
commencement of love
I dreamed that you were offering your lips to me, tilting your
head and laughing, and that
you and you confidently told me I have loved you for a long time.
I awoke, I remembered that
I laughed at such a deceitful dream, but afterwards it is me who loves
you. In such a way at the mysterious beginnings of love there is often a
kind of mirage which, though uncovered, continues to deceive. And indeed
at that moment all one's perspectives on life are changed. The future is
opened up once more. A point
fasci in front of us An unreal and yet known form fascinates us.
Alas you are not duped by the same mirage, you understand me and so will
not be irritated by my assiduity, offended by my resentments, miserly with
our meetings, unconscious of my
eternal dream your constant presence in me. A drunkard or an
opium smoker is taken
in the same way feels an incomprehensible and infinite tenderness for a
passer-by. But for the passer-by who has taken neither wine nor hashish he
is an obnoxious madman who he gets away from at all speed, and if he is
unable to get rid of him, who he will attempt to have taken away and
arrested.
In Ruy Blas, in Hernani, in Le Roi s'amuse,
there is always a pact formed previously and which requires
comes from [incomplete]
Quelques manuscrits "Lefebvre" conservés à l'université de l'Illinois, Chris Taylor, Bulletin d'informations proustiennes, 53, 2023
Created 23.01.24